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My original blog - I have moved to http://shannonclark.wordpress.com so this remains only as an archive.
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Searching for the Moon
by Shannon Clark
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Friday, May 30, 2003
BlogShares - Player Manual
The manual for the Blogshares game, which looks to be pretty cool (though I suspect manipulatable).
5/30/2003 06:25:00 PM
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Weblogs.Com News : Ping-Site Form
Useful tool which I may want to start useing, especially if I also start playing the "Blogshares" game (see next post)
5/30/2003 06:16:00 PM
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Wednesday, May 28, 2003
Inner Geek
I am a "Geek God" - or at least the test says that I am (without even exagerating, there are a lot of items on this test that I have done or do, or have in the past.
Scarry I guess, but heck, I also get the 5 bonus points for geek things not on the test, a few that come to mind:
1. Captain of the Chess team (vs. just "on it")
2. Started a convention (possibly, which is still occurring)
3. Know what IETF is
4. Been on a "working group"
5. Been an editor
I could go on... but I won't. (now at least)
5/28/2003 12:30:00 PM
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Tuesday, May 27, 2003
"National Leadership Award"
or how I, and many others, "win" an award from Tom Delay...
Okay, this morning I had a voicemail on my work line from someone in Tom Delay's office informing me that I have "been awarded a National Leadership Award from Congressman Tom Delay" and leaving a number for me to call back.
Being the sceptical high tech geek that I am, my first step was to use Google and do a search about Tom Delay and this "National Leadership Award" (I used "Tom Delay" "Leadership Award"), and guess what, I found about 800 people who have also been given this award, most of whom did not then respond favorably to the request for $300. It appears to be a fundraising effort on the part of the National Republican Party to skirt the rules around fundraising, and to get money from small business owners (as per some set of lists which they have purchased and are calling).
As I am not a Republican (nor a Democrat but that's not important for this discussion) and I do not support Tom Delay's positions, I have not even returned their call.
5/27/2003 01:15:00 PM
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Return from Wiscon, summary 1
or I return with a writing idea, but not one that is fiction
Okay, first a quick summary, I am now in a mode of recovering from seven straight days of conventions, first the MetaGroup's conference here in Chicago, then Wiscon. Needless to say for anyone who has been to even one convention, I slept a lot last night and suspect this week will be a period of adjustment.
Wiscon was both great and difficult this year, something in the vibe of the convention was different, perhaps tinged as well by my own lack of sleep before the con. I went to Wisonc with the intention of having fun conversations with people (did this), of spending a weekend thinking only of writing and fiction (did not do this, see below), and hopefully being inspired as I have in the past to get some of my own writing done, and to take that away with me and get even more done in the weeks and months after Wiscon.
First note, I will almost certainly be doing a lot of writing as a result of what I thought about at Wiscon. But, this will not be fiction.
While at Wiscon, I was interupted by business calls far more often than I should, however that is not what I will be writing about. That, while annoying, I was mostly able to deal with and/or ignore until today. Instead yesturday at Wiscon I had one of those "ah ha" moments that come only rarely, and I now have to spend the next weeks (months and perhaps years) exploring the implications of my insight. I've started to try to explain it to a few people, and I have started to write it up, until it is more fully thought out, and until I have a better grasp of it entirely (and have checked whether indeed I am the first person to think about things in this way) I will not be posting my insight in detail here (or elsewhere online) but the quick and simple version is that I may have come up with a fairly radical, but simple, way of rethinking about all of Economic theory, the type of thing that might mean I should finish my BA and enter into a PhD program in economics with the intent of writing my PhD thesis on this idea, it could be that serious.
Indeed, if I am right and noone has yet thought in the terms that I am proposing, it may offer some serious insights and new directions for Economic theory to persue, ones that I hope could turn help make the science of economics better and more useful.
My first task is to write it all down.
Then I will be doing some fairly heavy and serious google searching and literature searching to confirm that I am indeed thinking about things in a new way (I'm pretty certain that I am, the basis of my thinking is quite recent works so there has not been a lot of time for someone else to come up with this insight).
After that, my plan is to meet with some friends who are economics professors, probably by means of a road trip out of town for a day, and after meeting with them and getting their feedback, also asking them what they suggest that I do next. I think that there are many simple, and some complex steps that could be taken with my ideas, there are some papers that might be possible to write quickly and see if the theory can be used to demonstrate real solutions to complex problems. Then the full theory would probably have to be written up in a book length form (or at least a long form journal article) - whether I can get such a thing published without having a degree in economics is a question. It may also be that the ideas I have should form the basis of a PhD thesis (possibly putting me in the odd position of having my dissertation partially done before taking any graduate classes, though I've often assumed that this is how I would likely get a PhD if and when I ever do).
So, while I did indeed have some great times at Wiscon working on my own fiction, and talking with many other people about their fiction and other writers, I also was distracted by non-fiction thoughts.
More about Wiscon after I make more progress on the 400+ emails and many many messages and tasks waiting for me at my desk.
5/27/2003 12:24:00 PM
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Friday, May 16, 2003
Searching for the Moon, 2003 edition
or my luck seems consistant
If you have read my journal since the beginning (or check out the archive of my earliest posts), you'll know that this journal is named for a play I wrote many years ago, "Searching for the Moon", which in turn, was named after an event which took place during a relationship I was in years ago. To recap, it was about this time, 9 years ago, and another night of a Lunar Eclipse. My then girlfriend and I wanted to watch the lunar eclipse, and so we went driving to try to get away from the lights and clouds around Chicago and to a place where we might see the moon. (It was, I think a few months earlier in the year as there was snow on the ground still). We did not find the moon, but we did have a very memorable evening, and the image of her and I in a snow filled park, with a gazebo, looking up at the sky for a moon that was not there, has stuck with me still.
In the play, the phrase "searching for the moon" took on a contotation of searching for love, for a relationship.
So, last night was another Lunar Eclipse, and once again when I went looking for it I was unable to find it, well at least the moon. But, I did have a great evening with a beautiful woman, so, what's not to like?
This weekend I hope to spend a lot of time catching up with various friends, one friend is getting married soon, his bachelor party is this weekend, other friends are in town to attend a concert for a group they are groupies of (don't think they'd mind me describing them that they, heck they plan their vacations around the band's tour dates and are working for the band at at least one concert this weekend selling CD's etc). I may also try to get to The Matrix Reloaded this weekend, though I suspect it would not be hard to find people to go see it at Wiscon next weekend if I miss it this weekend.
Who knows, I might spend more time with the woman I was out with last night (if she wants to).
And I have to between today and Monday, get ready for 7 days during which I may not make it back to my office at all. First, starting Monday night I will be attending a conference sponsored by MetaGroup, a great conference but also one that starts early in the morning and usually goes until late at night (dinner meetings etc) - great networking and a lot of information to be learned, but also a lot of time.
Then on Thursday I have an early lunch meeting to discuss a Ryze event in June, and then will be picking up friends whom I will be driving up to Wiscon, and then that afternoon I will be driving up to Wiscon, checking in, probably helping stuff envelopes, attending the pre-convention event at a Madison area bookstore, catching up with old friends, and then Friday morning I have the Writer's Respite (have to read my fellow writer's stories this weekend, and work on my own story, as well as reread it before the workshop). Then Friday afternoon until Monday morning is Wiscon, my favorite science fiction convention and my first real vacation in a long time.
All the while, however, I will be somewhat nervous about my business, as we are in the midst of launching our new software, bringing salespeople onboard for the first time, and otherwise beginning to get pretty serious.
When I get back, I suspect the last week of May will be a busy one, and June as well.
All good stuff, but also chaotic.
And while my business picks up, I hope so to does my personal life, both a potential relationship, but also keeping up with friends, getting out and enjoying all that I can of this wonderful city Chicago in which I live. On the weekend after Wiscon I'll be cooking at my friend's pig roast - so that's at least one very fun event that I have planned, with hopefully more to follow.
5/16/2003 02:48:00 PM
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Wednesday, May 14, 2003
"Moonshine" by Isaac Asimov
How did Isaac Asimov get a copyright in 2003? I'm a bit confused....
5/14/2003 12:40:00 PM
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Tuesday, May 13, 2003
The Modern Word
Okay, and when I tire of reading about Umberto Eco (one of my favorite authors period), here's this entire site devoted to literary things... *sigh* is there enough time in the day?
5/13/2003 07:16:00 PM
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Eco - Introduction
Okay. This site shows me a number of important things.
One - I'm a fan of "postmodern fiction", whatever that means, guess I'll have to live with that and come to terms with it in my own way.
Two - This site is just darn cool, and I can see that I will be sucked into it in the days to come.... but I don't have time.. but it is so cool... ah well, who needs sleep before a convention anyway?
5/13/2003 07:09:00 PM
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The Minicon Moderator Tip Sheet
Some tips and lessons - for my first venture into moderating a panel at a con.
If you are at Wiscon, stop by the Panel at 10:00am on Saturday, on Blogging (and online journals, diaries etc), if you are reading this, and attending Wiscon, you're probably interested in this topic. We'll mention some of the technology stuff, but mostly I'm going to leave that for links on a handout (come by and get one) the more useful thing will be the discussion about how keeping a journal interacts with writing (and/or reading) and the other implications arising from it.
5/13/2003 04:47:00 PM
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AFU/university of chicago scavenger hunt 93
One of my claims to fame.
I helped write this - really, I did. Planned the Road Trip that year in fact.
Guess this is the converse of my purity test score...
5/13/2003 03:01:00 PM
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Edward Tufte: Ask E.T. forum
1. Almost anything by Edward Tufte is worth reading. Anything.
2. Project management graphics are terrible.
3. This discusses some really cool ideas about how to make them less terrible.
4. Did I mention, anything by Edward Tufte is worth reading?
5/13/2003 02:39:00 PM
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In case there was any doubt
one time I wish I was not above average
| Your Ultimate Purity Score Is... | | Category | Your Score | Average | | Self-Lovin' | 50%
Explored the pleasures of the flesh | 62.8% | | Shamelessness | 90.5%
Has yet to see self in mirror | 77.8% | | Sex Drive | 92.1%
The Pope is envious | 76% | | Straightness | 33.9%
Done the nasty, but not creatively | 41.9% | | Gayness | 100%
| 80.8% |
| Fucking Sick | 99.1%
Refreshingly normal | 88.7% |
You are 77.75% pure
Average Score: 70.6%
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Given my friends, these are probably pretty surprising.
5/13/2003 11:24:00 AM
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On the joys of your own business
or know I know why there are 24hr diners
I am at work.
This may not seem strange or anything, but note that I am writing this nearly at midnight on a Monday night.
This is both the joy and the sadness of owning your own business, you work these odd random late hours when you suddenly want to do something, such as what occupied me tonight, do serious finacial projections for the next year to see how you are doing and how you might do if you changed the scanrios somewhat.
So, here I am, having spent the evening staring at a spreadsheet manipulating little (and sometime big) numbers, all in an attempt to model what I would like my business to do 12 months from now.
The good news is that I think I did it, where "it" is figured out the model (someone else had written it, it is not simple but not overly complex either) and more importantly made it generally reflect the present (and hopefully future) reality of my business. If it is accurate I face about two perhaps three more fairly tough months, and after that may start to be doing pretty well. Not retire to a private island and go slighty mad well, but well enough that future goals such as attending next year's WorldCon might suddenly seem realistic (and even without using up frequent flyer miles before the Airlines all go belly up).
But now my stomach wil thank me if I get myself to source of nurishment and eat something, and then take myself to bed. I can't stay up too late tonight as tomorrow morning, at 9:00am the hot water in my building will be shut off for some repair work, meaning either I am up early and in fact get a shower, or I am not and I have a really cranky day (more so than a morning cup of coffee, I need my morning shower to face the day).
By the end of this week I may have as many as 5 possibly even more people than that who are out in the world selling my company's software, which is both very cool and more than slightly scary! With that may come a whole realm of new challenges as well as a whole realm of new opportunities. It is beginning to look, going into my firm's fourth year of existance, that we may soon become something, and though I will try to keep us small, I suspect we will not be as small as we are now this time next year - seems very likely that we will be bigger and far more complex.
5/13/2003 12:02:00 AM
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Wednesday, May 07, 2003
HotAIR - Rare and well-done tidbits from the Annals of Improbable Research
And on lighter note, this appears to be what used to be the "Journal of Irrepreduciable Results" - okay, still pretty darn geeky, but at least funny as well.
5/07/2003 11:04:00 PM
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On why I monitor
or how hard it can be to explain just what I know how to do and how I do it, the tale an an ongoing hacker attack
This evening, I began to notice that my network access was degrading, that checking my email from one of my servers (the local one) was not functioning well, and that I appeared to be losing some services. For a time, I thought this was something wrong with my machine (it is a windows 98 box after all and does periodically get into an odd state). However, when other people in my office began to have the same types of problems, and when my developer mentioned that he too was having "sluggish" network access, I began to investigate.
First check, was our website down? We've had our DSL service fail in the past, usually a quick reboot of our DSL router and we are back up and running. But in this case our website was still up, but we seemed to be losing performance by the minute.
Then I tried to connect to my server, telneted in (yeah, if I was a real serious geek it would be ssh, sorry, haven't gotten that to work well on my windows machine, will do it one of these days, but everything internal to my network is hidding behind layers of firewalls in any case.). I was able to login as myself, but upon attemping to actually run any commands I began to see the problems - was running out of processes to fork into.
I did a quick ps -auxwww (okay okay, I learned unix years ago, over a decade ago, still like Berkeley formatting and codes) - lo and behold, I think I see our problem... we had the same process spawned to an uncountable number of processes (Junkbuster).
I tried to su to be able to kill the errant processes, but no such luck, no processes available to spawn my root shell, also could not login on the CONSOLE (I have opened up our network room and logged into, well attempted to log into, our console).
So drastic measures time, I power cycled my server (before you geeks get too concerned, it is a server appliance, not many moving parts, very robust, and yes it did take a while doing a good fsck on boot). While it was rebooting, I also took it offline from our network, and we reconnected one of our macs to the server's outbound connection so we could research junkbuster and the attack while our server rebooted (nothing like multitasking when you have to, and the risk was minimal, very few attacks on a unix system would also penetrate or even bother a System 9.x MacOS system with no server processes running.)
However, here we met with our first hurdle - no clear signs of a similar attack, that is something exploiting junkbuster for nefarious ends. So I took over the searching, and began to piece together the puzzle somewhat. It appears likely that the version of junkbuster (which is designed to filter cookies and advertising, however we do not in fact use it, it runs as a proxy server) which was packaged with our OS had a known potential bug, that said, it was claimed at least that no attacks on it were known to exist in the wild (yeah right, I see one happening at the moment).
But at least it began to point the way forward. On rebooting I went looking through my server. Following my typical "troubleshooting" methodology. I won't give away all of my secrets here :-) but here are a few of the steps I took.
1. Looked immediately at all of the major log files on my server and looked at recently logged messages (prior to the reboot) to look for any signs of the attack in my log files.
2. Confirmed, as best as possible, that nothing major had been modified as a side result of the attack (i.e. no processes suddenly have been spawned that I did not mean to have running, my installation/boot config scripts were unmodified etc.
3. Located the junkbuster configurations to look over what it was doing (and to check the junkbuster logs in case they held any information - nothing)
4. Found all cases which might spawn the junkbuster process, and set them up so that they would not be started on reboot (into any boot configuration.
5. Stopped the one junkbuster process that was ongoing.
6. While monitoring the server for suspicious behavior, carefully reconnected it to the outside world and watched what happened in terms of my network traffic loads and processes on my server. With the recieving process halted I did not experience any problems.
Then I took to more serious steps, I sniffed the packets on my server and looked for signs of the attack (which, I correctly as it turns out, assumed would be ongoing). It was (and indeed is as I write this) and I was able to detect the two IP addresses where the attack appears to be coming from.
Looking these IP addresses up on the Internet I was able to obtain the 800 number for the ISP that is managing these addresses. On calling that number and getting through to an operator (most technical operator I have ever spoken to, speaks well for MCI (as it turns out) I was able to obtain the email address to report security related problems to.
Then it was simply a matter of generating a log of the attack, which I did and emailed in the body of my email to the email address provided.
They have now responded to me with an automated response and with a ticket number, and that is where things stand for the moment.
Geeky enough for you?
As I told this to my mom this evening, she reminded me that I have been managing a server on the Internet for well over a decade. Usually I forget this about myself, it is so much a second nature for me that I forget just how technical I can be when I need to be, and how much I know how to do in a very short time (did I mention that I checked a list of known attacks for the signature of this attack to see if I could determine what it is that is attacking me?).
Anyway, now it is almost 11pm, and I have not yet eaten dinner, so it will be a very late night for me indeed - not sure where I will end up, probably at Tempo, a local 24hr diner which I seem to be going to frequently these days.
What's more, I could be even more technogeeky about this than I have been in this entry. Scary.
5/07/2003 10:52:00 PM
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FreeNetworks Conference 2003
While I doubt that I can afford the time to attend this, and my interest is only marginally professionally related, this sounds like a useful and fun convention, although held in my least favorite city in America.
5/07/2003 05:14:00 PM
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Monday, May 05, 2003
Chemistry: WebElements Periodic Table
Okay, not my usual link - but a really cool site - makes Chemistry rather interesting, and makes me realize just how much more there is to learn. Found this by way of Google search, inspired to do so by reason of seeing a link to an animation of Tom Leher's Elements song.
5/05/2003 01:48:00 PM
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Blogumentary: A Documentary About Blogs
Intersting - when I have more time, need to look at what he is doing.
5/05/2003 01:35:00 PM
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Sunday, May 04, 2003
a odd few weeks
Hi all.
First, I know that I have not been posting here are frequently as I was - nothing bad, just exhaustion and lack of time, which is mostly a good thing.
For the past few weeks I have been very focused on selling, though not as focused as I hope to be in the next few weeks. Starting on Monday I may be going from having all sales essentially be done by me (with a few exceptions that have yet to see major results) to having perhaps as many as three possibly four or five people all contracted to my company to be independant sales reps.
Which is a very very good thing, but also one that will make me work even harder and longer hours (all good however). It means that I have been doing a lot of work on our code base to make it even more stable, reliable and easy to use. Now I will have to be working on sales materials (with help on this however thankfully) and hopefully soon after that will start having to attend sales calls with the salespeople to be the subject matter expert/technical expert as they work out deals for my software (and related services on top of it).
It is exciting and means that the light at the end of one tunnel is in sight - landing a few major clients would mean that I know, at least, where the money for the next few months (hopefully rest of the year) will be coming from, allowing me to concentrate on more interesting subjects than making payroll every few weeks.
So, I may be posting here a bit less frequently than in the past, though I will try to get back to here when I can.
On other matters, I had a great evening on Friday, hung out with a very cool friend - we ended up staying up all night and going out for early morning breakfast - though it is not as cool as it may sound. We wern't alone, another friend of her and his sorta girlfriend joined us, and it is still not clear to me whether or not there is any potential for romance here.
On the very plus side - she is extremely attractive, jaw droppingly smart and successful (owns her own technology company, straight A student, reformed hacker, liberal arts major now running seriously geeky tech firm). In short, very much my "type" of woman. And she is, at least for the moment, single!
On the negative side, most negatively, I know that there is at least one guy she has had a year long crush on, and a fling with from time to time over the past year - so that makes it a bit less likely. Further, she is six years older than me and in many respects far more experienced than I (was in a serious relationship then marriage for 11 years, then another long term relationship for almost 6 years, has been single for just about a year or so). I suspect my one "long term" relationship of 9 months nearly 9 years ago, and having been basically single since then is in stark contrast.
But, I'll certainly give it a shot - after all, how often do I meet incrediably attractive smart woman, probably more techy than me, who also share my love and passion for business, and who are also science fiction fans, understand why I would love going to a convention such as WisCon, would like to play chess with me some time, and are also highly creative types who love photography (which I do as well). In short how often do I meet women (or men for that matter, though there I'm not interested in them sexually) who are as left and right brained as I am, and who both share and understand my highly diverse interests but also have passionate ones of their own from which I might learn?
Very exciting.
So, that's at least marginally hopeful that this year may be better than the past 9 have been.
And on related subjects (well somewhat). I have a book to finish by Thursday for a Political Science Fiction reading group to which I have joined. This month we are reading "Native Tongue" by Suzette Haden Elgin (whom I have met at past Wiscons). I am just getting into the book and while I am enjoying it, I am also a bit troubled by the starkness of how it depicts men and men's perceptions of women. (which is, after all, a major plot point of the novel, it is set in an extremely Patriarchial version of America where women have essentially no status or rights). What troubles me is that it is not at all how I view women, but I now wonder it it is how many feminist women (many of whom I would think are my friends) think is how men view women (as second class people, as objects, as tools, as caregivers, as status symbols etc).
For me, I am most interested in a woman (in a romantic/sexual manner of interest) who would be a partner and mentor for me - that is, someone whose mind and ambitions I respect and admire as much as I enjoy her physical presence - and truly it should be the case that she enjoys my mind, ambitions, and physical presence as well, there is not much more attractive to me than someone who finds me attractive and interesting (okay, this has not happened to me very often but when it has.. not memories I forget easily). And when it comes to something like children, in the book the men are depicted as annoyed by children and eager to get rid of the children and/or to exploit them for financial gain. While I am not ready for having children yet (figure I first need to have been in a relationship for a while and be more stable in the rest of my life) I look forward to having children in the future, and I certainly plan on being very involved in the day to day raising of my children someday. And even before then, I certainly plan on doing my share of household tasks such as cooking (and yes, even cleaning, much more fun when you do it with someone else). I know that any woman I am seriously interested in will more than likely have a career of her own, not unlikely a very high powered and successful one (either as a profesional, a professor, a business executive, or an entrepreneur), so I fully expect that day to day household tasks will have to be shared by whomever's schedule allows the time and flexibility to do them.
I do not see myself being interested in a relationship with someone merely biding time at some basic job, looking for "Mr. Right" and then planning on "just" being a homemaker (or shopping etc all day). The types of women I'm interested in would be bored by a dull, dead end job, and stifled by not having something to do.
Now, I could see being with a writer who might have periods of time while writing that would appar to someone observing them as time "just" being a homemaker, but that is different. And certainly I could see being in a relationship with someone in graduate school, again though, very different from not having ambitions and goals.
In two weeks a number of old friends will be in town for a bit of a reunion and to see a very good musical group that they enjoy play here in town. Unfortunately at the same time another friend is having his bachelor's party (the first I have ever been invited to in my entire life!), so part of me wants to go to that. (he's a fellow geek, the party starts with four hours of computer gaming, then becomes more typical in that they will be barhoppping all night long, however since my friend does not drink, non-drinkers will be welcome and no strippers are expected, so perhaps not a very typical bachelor's party).
The weekend after that will be WisCon - which I am eagerly anticipating! (offering a ride from Chicago to Madison if anyone needs one, leaving Thursday around noon, driving back Monday sometime). I'm working out a semi-conflict with the hotel over my room, hopefully will in fact be getting the convention rate (seems likely the hotel laison is helping me resolve this). I might, in fact, have space to share if someone needed a room (seems the most likely way that I would then, of course, actually meet someone at Wiscon - i.e. by not having a hotel room all to myself... very much in keeping with my general expectations about life). But on a more serious note, I would not mind spliting the cost with someone (and the room will be nice, it is on the concourse level which also means free breakfasts and afternoon snacks and other niceties).
The weekend after Wiscon will be a Pig Roast! A very good friend of mine and her husband are having their second annual pig roast! And I am invited! Last year I cooked something like 5 or six dishes for their pig roast, this year I eagerly plan on doing much the same. Almost certainly another salad (with lots of fruits, soft cheeses and balsamic vinager), probably some apple dishes to compliment the roast pig, probably some grilled dishes (pinapples, perhaps mangoes? who knows what else) and I hope to come up with a few others as well - all fun, fairly easy dishes with great ingrediants. In short, a chance for me to have a lot of fun spending an afternoon cooking - one of my favorite tasks of all!
So this month is shaping up to be a very good one indeed - friends, activities, literature, good food and who knows perhaps a few good movies (X2, Matrix Reloaded, Better Luck Tomorrow at least are planned) and if my luck as really changed, perhaps a bit of spring romance... (okay, I can dream can't I?)
5/04/2003 01:14:00 PM
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