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My original blog - I have moved to http://shannonclark.wordpress.com so this remains only as an archive.
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Searching for the Moon
by Shannon Clark
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Thursday, October 03, 2002
The sequence of events
or if you were watching this on film, it would probably be a comedy...
This weekend, I, hopefully, have a second date. Not something I'm real familar with, so I'm a bit uncertain about it all.
The plan is to see a film that is part of the Chicago International Film Festival , probably Saturday afternoon, and then go out for dinner, most likely to a really good little French/Mediterrean cafe and creperie that I know.
So, a real date I would say - just the two of us, and planned in advance (and yes, I'll be paying for the tickets and dinner...)
It sounds silly, but when we are together, as we were last night as I walked with her to the El after we were both at the same event, we both seem a bit uncertain what to do - or at least I know that I am, and I think that she is as well.
My past does not help me here - I've had basically one really serious relationship - which started in a very rapid manner (second or third time we even met turned into an all night event with a mutual friend forcing the issue on us - and then thankfully leaving the room to let us explore the fact that we both liked the other...) - after that we clearly had crossed the line seperating a "friendship" from a "relationship" and so we held hands, kissed at random times etc - and looked deeply into each other's eyes (which I miss now that I think about it)
My other relationships - such as they were - were either one-sided (I fell for someone, who either fell for someone else and/or told me that they saw/see me as "just a friend" - or in one case "as a brother") so no real help there. And the few others that I have been involved in were either very short (yes a one night stand in one case) - or long distance - which ended quickly and badly.
So I guess what I am saying is I'm not real sure what to do or say. Or even how to tell if she is interested in me as I am in her.
I suspect that neither of us has a lot of experience - which, when combined with the fact that she is from a different culture, makes all this much more complicated - probably more complicated than it needs to be.
So, at the moment, I plan on talking with her on the phone either tonight or tomorrow night, and then seeing her on Saturday - and I hope that sometime in there, perhaps over dinner, we can talk about relationships past and present and see where things go from there...
She is definitely someone I am very interested in - she is very smart (engineering degree), a bit exotic (speaks three languages, not an American), shares similar interests with me in terms of some of what she likes to read (types of mysteries, philosophy etc - albeit she mostly reads in French), and even though she is from a very different culture - she shares the experience with me of skipping a grade - this is not a minor thing - it means that we share the experience of being different from our classmates, being younger and perhaps a bit socially behind.
Oh, and did I mention, she is (at least to my eyes), amazingly beautiful with eyes that I can drown in, and a smile that lights up the room?
Okay, I'm falling for her I admit it - we'll see what happens on Saturday.
10/03/2002 12:57:00 PM
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