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My original blog - I have moved to http://shannonclark.wordpress.com so this remains only as an archive.
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Searching for the Moon
by Shannon Clark
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Tuesday, December 31, 2002
As the year draws to a close
where am I?
Yup, still at the office at 5:35pm on New Year's Eve night, with no plans at the moment, no one to spend the evening with, no place to be, and have been working all day long.
Pretty typical way to end the year, so I should not be surprised.
I was invited to one party, however the friend who invited me has not yet herself confirmed that she will be there - so it feels more than a bit odd to just stop by a party of people I mostly don't know (at a private home) without knowing for sure that my friend will be there - and with her and my status rather unclear. Yes, I should probably have tried to call her over the past few days, but I did leave a voicemail and emails...
There is an event way up north in Chicago that sounds pretty cool (and is very cheap - $15 for two, possibly three venues, buffets, at least two bands and a toast at midnight - for in the city, pretty hard to beat).
That's the good stuff. The bad, its a reggae and a country band (the reggae might be fun), the food should be good if mostly vegetarian (at a cafe that specalizes in vegetarian food, though they do serve meat), and it is in a "colorful" part of town (Rodgers Park) - though that does not worry me. What does, is that I would probably not know anyone at all there.
Most of my friends, it seems, have plans or are out of town. There is someone whom I owe a call to - but since I have owed the call to her since Thanksgiving... the night of New Years Eve seems a bit odd to be calling someone out of the blue...
So, not sure what I will do - or where I will do what I do (or don't do).
I can't afford to go someplace fancy - and since I barely drink in any case it would be a waste - and without someone to share the evening with, enjoy the food with, talk (or dance) the night away with - it would be rather odd in any case.
It is a fairly nice day outside, so I could go down to Navy Pier or to the lakefront for the fireworks here in town - which are nice, but again, spending the evening alone in a crowd does not seem all that much fun either.
I wish that I had a group of friends to do something with - even it it were just watch the ball drop on someone's TV - it would be far better than ending the year alone.
Though, since I have spent the past four years alone, why should tonight be any different?
I haven't had a date yet this century... rather depressing really. And my 90's weren't so hot either. A brief relationship in the fall of 1998, before that nothing until the summer of 1994, 1993-1994 was perhaps my be year of the past decade (as far as relationships), and really nothing before that or much since.
So, if I were making New Year resolutions. One is, of course, to get my finances in order (which means making my company a success!) - that should help with many other aspects of life. Another is to finally finish my degree - I think I'll stop with the 12 year plan...A third is to finally finish furnishing my home - make it someplace I can enjoy and share with friends.
The most important - however - the one that would make the others worth it is to find a woman to share my life with - doesn't mean the woman I'll marry someday, just someone to date and spend time with would be an amazing start - but someone where though we are friends, it is clearly more than just friends - have too often had "friendships" that led nowhere - not what I want for the new year.
12/31/2002 05:49:00 PM
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